So… Club Wales Ride, May 2024. Alexa wakes me up at 6am and asks me what I’d like. My answer doesn’t please her as she responds with “I don’t know that one”.
As always, I delay swinging out of bed, still traumatised by having to step out on to freezing lino through the 1950’s. (Yes LINO. Look it up).
Didn’t bother mentally refreshing the route to the Oxford services where we were all meeting up prior to Wales, because I had arranged to meet three others, Steve, John & Adrian near Maidstone for company on the ride to Oxford. They’re bright. They would know the way.
Tapped “Shell station Detling hill” into the sat nav.
Breakfast, teeth, (both of them), gear, hat, leg over, and I’m on my way. 7.30 meetup.
Sat nav got Detling hill wrong so I ignored her and made my way to the shell station without her help.
7.30 came and went. Couldn’t believe all three of them would be late. Phone rang. It was Adrian. “You alright Phil? Yup. Waiting for you idiots at the shell station on…. Oh xxx…. Bluebell Hill”.
They began behaving like gentlemen again after a minute or so and we arranged to meet at Clackets.
I got there first (I had a head start didn’t I) and waited on the exit slip. After 10 mins or so I called Steve for an ETA. He was just slipping into Clackets so I suggested he go right through and I’d latch on the back as they exited.
Worked like a dream, except one of them was missing……. My roommate Adrian. Worrying.
A few minutes passed and Steve reminded me it was my phone call and I hadn’t cleared down. Shxxxt. I’m going to need a naked finger for that. Pulled over, used the naked finger and shot off into lane 1 to find Steve and John. Never found them despite 40 mins riding like I’d stole it. Recon they were hiding behind a truck. Hurtful.
My “off” road came up next. The Oxford services should be the first one I come across.
Oxford services had really changed. Nothing like it was last year. Much smaller and tatty, and no bikes. Check the Map. Well…. FFFancy that! I’d taken the M4 instead of the M40. My-my. I thought. This doth butter no parsnips.
Told her to get me to Oxford services, and bloody quick! Might just make it before they all leave for the west.
30 mins of circling a strange little town, getting directed to tow paths, Churchyards, parks and heaths. I checked. Took a look under her petticoats and saw she had changed her smalls to hiking mode. (I’ll watch my tone with her in future).
Missed the boat with Oxford now, so politely set the compass W.N.W. to the Metropole Hotel Llandrindod after getting a call from Adrian (yes, Adrian), who thoughtfully called to check that my time hadn’t come.
Lovely ride across country and met them at the hotel whilst glistening wet from the pool, when they all turned up half an hour later. (Big smiley face).